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    A Taco Bell patron grabbed a fellow diner around the throat and struck him with a chair after accusing the victim of not excusing himself after he burped inside the South Carolina eatery.

    Isaiah Morris, 20, told cops that he and a friend were “sitting in a booth eating” Sunday afternoon when an unknown white male asked if he “had just belched and not said excuse me,” according to a Tega Cay Police Department report.

    When Morris (seen at right) asked the man what he had said, the attacker picked up a chair and struck Morris in the elbow. Morris said that the man then grabbed him by the throat and tried to head-butt him. At that point, Cara Martin, a 17-year-old Taco Bell worker, interceded and ordered the man to leave the restaurant.

    Martin told police that the assailant drove off in a white vehicle that “was possibly a pick up,” though witnesses were not able to record its tag number.

    A cop noted observing a “minor abrasion” on Morris’s elbow and “redness around his throat.” The investigator added that the Taco Bell manager “advised that he did not believe that the surveillance cameras were able to record the incident.” As a result, police have administratively closed the assault and battery case (though it could be reopened if any leads developed).

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    Meet Hakera Cochran.

    After getting her nails done last Friday, the 29-year-old New Jerseyan allegedly became incensed when one nail broke, so she returned to MEI Holiday Nails to register her displeasure.

    According to police, Cochran began shouting at salon employees, who unsuccessfully sought to placate the irate customer (who is pictured at right).

    During her tirade, Cochran allegedly grabbed a bottle of nail polish remover and squirted the liquid into the eyes and mouths of two workers, according to a criminal complaint.

    The victims were later treated at the scene by emergency medical personnel for exposure to a “deadly weapon,” specifically “a spray bottle filled with an acetone that removes paint.”

    Cochran, who lives in Bridgeton, the city where the salon is located, was subsequently arrested for aggravated assault and possession of a weapon for an unlawful purpose.

    After being booked on those counts, Cochran was released on her own recognizance, according to a Municipal Court official.

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    A Florida student, 15, was arrested this week for putting hand sanitizer in a teacher’s Diet Coke can, police report.

    Nicholas Lucari is facing a felony charge for allegedly squirting “Germ-X” into Dale Dawson Yount’s drink. The South Walton High School teacher, 69, subsequently “became physically ill” and she sought treatment at a local hospital, according to a Walton County Sheriff’s Office report.

    Investigators allege that Lucari, pictured above, “did willfully, intentionally, and with the intent to injure” add the hand sanitizer to Yount’s beverage. As a result, the teen was busted on a poisoning rap.

    Lucari, cops noted, has been “suspended from school pending an expulsion hearing.” The student has been described as a “prankster” who did not intend to harm Yount, who is seen at left.

    Like many hand sanitizers, the active ingredient in “Germ-X” is ethyl alcohol.

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    A Department of Defense contractor was arrested yesterday morning after a military policeman spotted him masturbating to child pornography inside a car parked at a Colorado Army base.

    According to a criminal complaint, Francis Calar, 53, was pleasuring himself inside a Ford sedan at 10:30 AM when a military cop approached the vehicle. Calar, seen at right, initially did not notice the officer since he was “intently focused on an image on the screen of his laptop computer.”

    As described in a criminal complaint sworn by FBI Agent Andrew Stearns, Calar--a married father of two boys--was staring at a sexually explicit photo of a young girl. When he spotted the officer, Calar “quickly close his laptop and threw it on the passenger seat.” After the cop directed Calar to exit his car, he reportedly said, “Yes I know you seen what I was doing and what I was looking at.”

    In subsequent interviews with law enforcement officials, Calar “advised that he has an active interest in child pornography,” and said that he often parks in the same Fort Carson lot so that he can access an unsecured Internet connection and “visit chat rooms and search for child pornography during breaks from work.” Calar’s Facebook page describes him as a “technical trainer” at Fort Carson.

    Calar, Agent Stearns reported, was “adamant that his sexual interest in children is purely ‘fantasy.’”  He told investigators that he is “active with children” and currently coaches girls volleyball and boys baseball. Additonally, Calar said that he has previously taught Sunday school at his church and recently resigned as the girls volleyball coach at Mesa Ridge High School in Colorado Springs.

    Charged with possession of child pornography, Calar is scheduled this afternoon for an initial appearance in U.S. District Court in Denver. If convicted of the felony count, he faces a minimum of five years in prison (and as much as 10 years in custody).

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    Meet John Carter.

    Angered that his mother would not give him money to purchase marijuana, the Texas teenager allegedly retaliated by setting her clothes on fire inside the family’s Houston apartment, according to investigators.

    Carter, 17, allegedly torched the garments Saturday morning, causing minor damage to their residence.

    A subsequent probe by the Harris County Fire Marshal’s Office determined that “Carter was angry at his mother because she would not give him money so he could buy marijuana, so he started setting her clothes on fire.”

    Arrested for arson, Carter was booked into the county jail, where he is being held in lieu of $30,000 bail.  

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    Four family members were hospitalized this week after eating LSD-laced meat purchased from Walmart, according to Florida police.

    After consuming bottom round steak at dinner Monday evening, Ronnie Morales, 24, became seriously ill and was driven to a Tampa hospital by his girlfriend Jessica Rosado, who was nine months pregnant.

    When the couple arrived at the hospital, Rosado, 31, “also became ill and was rushed across the street to St. Joseph's Women's Hospital where they induced labor,” according to a police statement. Shortly thereafter, Rosado’s two young daughters “started experiencing hallucinations and felt ill,” cops added.

    Morales and the girls “received tracheal intubation and were hospitalized” until their release Wednesday, while “The mother and her healthy baby boy were released Thursday, March 6th,” police reported.

    The family members suffered hallucinations, dizziness, rapid heart rates, and difficulty breathing, according to Tampa Police Chief Jane Castor, who said that there was “no indication” of any involvement on the part of Morales or Rosado in the meat tampering. Castor added that there was, “No criminal history with this family.”

    After seizing “food items that the family consumed prior to falling ill,” investigators determined that they “consumed bottom round steak contaminated with LSD.” Walmart has turned over to police “all meat of that type that was on their shelves at that time” so that it can be tested.

    Terming the matter an “isolated incident,” cops are now attempting to determine when and where the meat was contaminated with LSD. Castor said investigators were not aware of the concentration level of the hallucinogen, which is often sold in liquid form.

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    “Give me a bite of your burrito,” Mahamed Abdi, 24, allegedly demanded of a stranger noshing Saturday afternoon outside a Seattle restaurant.

    When the burrito owner declined Abdi’s request (and remarked “That is rude”), Abdi pushed him and again demanded a bite of the Mexican food favorite. As the diner then arose from his seat, Abdi allegedly punched him in the forehead and fled on foot, according to a Seattle Police Department report.

    Witnesses described the attacker as a black male in his 20s wearing “a gray ‘beanie’ and white fur coat.”

    Cops subsequently caught up to Abdi as he was boarding a city bus near where the burrito attack transpired. After being identified by the victim, he was arrested for assault and booked into the county jail. Abdi did not go quietly, however. Police noted that he yelled obscenities at the officer transporting him to the local precinct and spit on the vehicle’s plexiglass divider. He continued to spit at cops while inside the precinct.

    Abdi, who is locked up in lieu of $10,000 bail, has been arrested more than a dozen times in the last year (for trespass, theft, assault, and robbery).

    The burrito owner, who had “very slight redness to forehead,” did not request medical treatment.

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    A domestic confrontation over “not putting the toilet seat down” resulted in the arrest of a North Dakota man for allegedly roughing up his sister, who had complained about his bathroom habits, police report.

    Cops were summoned last week to the West Fargo residence shared by Thaddeus Morgan, 24, and his 23-year-old sister. Cynthia Morgan told officers that she had argued with her brother “because Thaddeus was upset because she got mad about him not putting the toilet seat down.”

    During the confrontation, Cynthia charged, Thaddeus pushed her and broke her glasses. Additionally, when she sought to dial 911, he allegedly took her cell phone. When questioned by officers, Thaddeus reportedly admitted “interfering with the 911 call and slapping his sister with an open hand,” according to a police report.

    Thaddeus also copped to pushing Cynthia and grabbing her wrists, but claimed that she “was throwing toys at him.”

    Seen in the above mug shot, Morgan was arrested for interfering with an emergency call, a felony, and misdemeanor assault. He is scheduled for an April 2 District Court preliminary hearing.

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    Meet Jordan Bodden.

    The 19-year-old’s saggy pants stymied an escape attempt Sunday evening after the suspected burglar was detained by Florida cops, according to a police report.

    After being handcuffed by Palm Beach County Sheriff’s Office deputies investigating a series of vehicle break-ins in Lake Worth, Bodden broke away from cops and sought to escape on foot.

    The teenager’s clothing, however, did not cooperate in the getaway effort.

    As Bodden fled, his pants slid down to his ankles, causing him to trip (and apparently fall on his face, judging from the above booking photo). A deputy noted that he had a grip on Bodden’s pants, but a “button broke or opened as he was running, triggering the trouser tumble.

    Bodden was then scooped up by deputies and charged with three burglary counts, escape, and resisting arrest without violence. He is locked up in the Palm Beach County jail in lieu of $31,000 bond.

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    A man operating a drone helicopter over his Florida neighborhood called cops to complain that a GoPro camera was stripped from the model aircraft after it crashed during a flight.

    Lester Lechleitner, 28, told police that he was “flying his drone helicopter around” his Bradenton neighborhood Friday night when “he saw it start to fall from the sky and land on the street,” according to a police report.

    When Lechleitner arrived at the crash scene, a GoPro camera that had been mounted to the helicopter was missing. Lechleitner told a Manatee County Sheriff’s Office deputy that he suspected a neighbor pinched the camera, since he spotted the man “walking back towards his house suspiciously.”

    The neighbor gave cops permission to “look around his house,” but an investigator did not find the camera.

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    A Florida woman was arrested for battery after striking her 25-year-old daughter in the face with a used diaper.

    Police report that victim Jessica Caldwell returned Monday to her Bradenton home and discovered “her mother became intoxicated while caring for her 2-year-old daughter.”

    A verbal argument allegedly turned physical when Christine O’Keefe, 53, “threw a used diaper at the victim, striking her in the face,” according to a Manatee County Sheriff’s Office report. During the subsequent mother-daughter scuffle, Caldwell struck her mother in the right brow.

    O’Keefe, however, was the only one arrested--for misdemeanor battery. Seen in the adjacent mug shot, O’Keefe was released from jail Tuesday after posting $1000 bond. She is scheduled for a March 27 Circuit Court arraignment.

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    Perhaps they thought the performance was payment enough.

    An Illinois cab driver recently called police to complain that a couple who had just finished having sex in the rear of his cab were refusing to pay the $83 fare.

    Hack Faisal Kokazeh, 28, told Orland Park Police Department officers that passengers Andrew Vukovich and Stefanie Herringer claimed they were unable to pay him at the conclusion of a recent 3:30 AM ride.

    Kokazeh noted that he “witnessed both Andrew and Stefanie perform intercourse in the back of the van,” and “simply wanted both of them out of the taxi, and the fare paid,” according to a police report.

    Vukovich and Herringer, an officer reported, smelled of booze and “were producing incoherent sentences, attempting to gather clothing that was strewn throughout the taxi.” And neither of them “had a purse or wallet on their person.”

    The couple, who had been driven by Kokazeh to Vukovich’s home, avoided arrest when Vukovich, seen above, “was able to obtain his mother’s credit card” to pay for the fare. Vukovich and Herringer had been partying at Toby Keith’s I Love This Bar & Grill prior to entering Kokazeh’s 2010 minivan.

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    Police are hunting for a pair of suspects who assaulted a man with a large icicle during a home invasion Wednesday afternoon.

    According to the New York State police, Kenneth Birdsill, 56, was attacked by a pair of men during a 4 PM burglary at his upstate Windsor residence. The suspects gained access to Birdsill’s home “under the guise of needing to use his phone.”

    Upon entering the house, the duo attacked Birdsill and “stole prescription medication and an undetermined amount of cash.” Along with punching Birdsill, one of the invaders also clobbered the bloodied victim over the head with an icicle.

    The suspects fled “in a vehicle described as a four door gray or light green Nissan with driver’s side front quarter panel damage,” according to cops, who described the suspects as “two white males, one with long brown hair approximately 6 feet tall and one with short blond hair, approximately 5’8".”